September 24, 2023
All About the Blue Ribbon Girl
Without really knowing, I feel like this look kind of became a foil of myself. For starters, blue is the color I think I look the worst in, but I wear it so much. “Blue Ribbon Girl” is a feeling more than anything - the feeling of absence when you “have it all” and the yearning to win in some sort of way that matters. In many ways, they are the same feeling.
Throughout my early childhood I would always remark that I never won a trophy. I don’t know what it was about it, but I wanted one so bad. I received some with my dance studio, and I took one from an old horse stable — but I wanted one for myself. Some physical thing that I could feel like I earned. The first photo of the rollout, the blue ribbon, is actually a photoshopped image of the only blue ribbon I’ve ever received, for being selected for and participating in an art showcase when I was little. The original text says “You are a Promising Young Artist.” Coincidentally, I created that image, and recorded the fish videos on my 20th birthday, which was characterized by a lot of rain and a lot of crying. There seems to be some meaning hidden in that, right? I am writing this now on my birthday, actually, I don’t know why I’m writing like it’s already over.
Anyways, as a high-achiever, ambitious person, I spend a decent amount of time thinking about accomplishment. So far in my life, I know I have a lot to be proud of, and a lot more to be grateful for. However, I don’t think I’ve ever had an “I made it” moment associated with any physical award. Upon reflecting on that, I became scared of what my priorities and life might look like if that changed one day.
This look and the imagery might be some of my favorite ideas to date. It’s about my fear of having all the trophies in the world and not being happy, and it’s about the fear of losing sight what’s really important, with a hint of gifted kid burnout.
That “lonely at the top" concept reminded me of a singular fish trapped in a fishbowl on the top shelf of a pet store. I later remembered that I had always wanted to shoot a look infront of the aquariums at the pet store. This look was actually shot at the same pet store I cried at on my 20th birthday (today HAHA but don't worry I'm okay). The hues of the outfit naturally reminded me of 1st-place blue ribbons, commonly associated with educational achievements and horseback riding competitions. It’s almost laughable how perfectly these ideas fit together; I need to make a huge Venn diagram honestly.
It is made 100% of recycled fabrics, adorned with a blue rhinestone circle charm from the Brooklyn Flea, arranged like a blue ribbon, alongside denim from my first rework on a pair of jeans. On the string of that denim skirt is a silver charm (also from the Brooklyn Flea) of a random man. Maybe he has feared the same things.
There’s lots of stories built into this eccentric blue look, but unlike my Counting On It look that was embedded with meaningful manifestions, this look is simply just an expression of a fear of mine. No bad omens were sewn into it, I promise. Who knows, maybe it’ll win a trophy one day.
xoxo,sp